Saturday, July 30, 2011

Ima needin' some inspiration

Tonight I finished a killer leg workout and headed back to the locker room to change and do some posing. There's not normally anyone around so I don't have to worry about looking completely vain as I check out my progress in the mirror. It's nice to know my mind has shifted from, "ugh, I don't like what I see" to "looking good, ok, let's work on this now". However, neither statement was me saying I'm satisfied.

I am loving how my body has transformed, don't get me wrong, but I'm starting to get nervous again. Just like how I was a few months ago when Jeff asked how I was feeling about the way I looked. At that point, I had contemplated giving up and conceding to the fact that I wasn't going to make enough progress in enough time to be competitive on stage. I didn't want to (and still don't) look like I didn't belong on stage. It wasn't until Jeff said, "I think you can do it, you just have to focus and work hard." Coming from him, that meant a lot. My fire was reignited and I dug deep to find that determination.

Well, tonight I'm needing those words again. Maybe it's the lack of tan, make-up, and hair in a pony. Maybe it's the lack of carbs feeding my brain. Whatever it is, it better pass. So, I have to remind myself why I'm doing what I'm doing. I want to kill it on stage. I want to hear my name in that first call-out. (for anyone who doesn't know, first call-out most likely means you're in the top 5) I want a company to tell me they want me to represent them or they want to sponsor me in some capacity. I want, I want, I want. Ha!

In order to get what I want, I know have to work hard for it. If it was easy, everyone would do it, right? Until recently...this year...I didn't know how hard I could push myself. This contest prep has given me a taste of how much I CAN push myself, and I want more. My muscles like being pushed, they like getting beat to shreds, and I like knowing that I can handle it.

My goal for this next week isn't to be ready to step on stage in 7 days, rather it's to see progress from today. I have 14 days until my goal. I have to remind myself that A LOT can happen and change in 14 days. I just need to focus on what I'm going to do tomorrow to make myself better. Physically, emotionally, spiritually.

Energy and persistence conquer all things. -Benjamin Franklin

Friday, July 29, 2011


In the past week, I have found myself saying, "I'm obsessed with _____!!" I decided to take some pictures of the things I'm obsessed with at the moment as well as list them and why. I'm sure there are things that I've missed and things that will be added on a daily basis.

In NO particular order:

-The show Cupcake Wars. I don't obsess over wanting a cupcake, rather over the flavor combos and creativity.
-Real Housewives of ____ - alllll of them. I love/hate the drama, it's a nice release from reality.
-Oxygen Magazine and Muscle & Fitness Hers. I've been absorbing every single word as well as drawing inspiration from them. I love seeing the beautiful STRONG women that grace the pages.
-Vitamin Water Zero in Squeezed. Tastes just like lemonade without all the sugary calories! De-lish!
-SWEET POTATO FRIES!!!! Need I say more? They're amazeballs.
-Mustard & Ketchup. See above. I only use a hint of ketchup with my SPF (sweet potato fries).
-My black Nike Free Walk shoes. Yes, the "walk" edition. They're so cushy and feel great through my heavy leg/cardio workouts.
-Steam in the bag asparagus. I love something easy, and it's delicious!
-Crystal Light Pure. Doesn't taste fake and I can carry it with me anywhere just in case I need something sweet. :)
-Dymatize Cafe Mocha Whey Protein Isolate. I swear it tastes like a melted frappucino. Yum.
-SWEET POTATO FRIES! haha, I'm really really obsessed with them.
-Oatmeal with fruit and cinnamon in it. True, it IS one of the things on my diet, but I really look forward to eating it. It's one of the things that gets my booty out of bed in the morning.
-Lip Balm. Any kind, any flavor, I have about 4 or 5 in my gym bag/purse/diaper bag/car at all times...without transferring it bag to bag. Yes, I have a lot.
-Crest Whitestrips. What's better than a white sm
ile? I love that I can use one and see he difference immediately!
-My shaker with the shaker ball. It's petite, but holds just what I need.
-Jergen's Skin Firming Lotion. I LOVE the smell of it, very clean, and I totally tell the difference when I don't use it.
-Our grill. I grill on it almost everyday. Easiest way to cook up a bunch of chicken for the week. :)
-My iPod shuffle. I have an iPod touch, but the shuffle is so easy to just clip on me and go!
-50 cent, Rhianna, Katy Perry, Fergie, Missy Elliot. They ALL get me through my workouts.
-My bed. It's where my muscles get to grow and my eyes get to rest. Plus, I have a hot husband to lay next to. :)

I'm sure my list will grow/change tomorrow...with the exception of that last one. Goodnight everybody! 13 days to go!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Sweet 16

To "celebrate" today (my "sweet" 16), I purchased my first of many post-contest goodies. Tom Thumb had Chips Ahoy cookies on one get one free. I stood in the aisle trying not to drool. I don't think I could tell you when the last time I had a Chips Ahoy cookie, but I do love them. I had to decide which 2 I wanted. There's your basic chocolate chip, which is classic, but now they have 4 or 5 different ones. I decided on the rainbow chip candy blast one and yummy Reese's peanut butter cup. It was then and there that I officially gave up my grocery shopping duties...until Thursday night before the comp! Ha!

Tonight at yoga, I told my students of my cookie purchase. They all laughed as I described how excited I was and how much I was looking forward to eating some of them. "Not the entire bag?," several asked. I know I will say I want to, but what will actually get eaten before I'm sick...I'm not sure. I continue to say how I really do like what I'm eating right now. It's just that occasional snack or meal that I miss. I'm sure I will be able to get it out of my system within a week of finishing Europa.

The way that food has transformed and changed my body is crazy to me. I've always heard...and said...that abs are made in the kitchen, not the gym. I couldn't agree more. What prepping for the competition has done for me is not only gotten me into the best shape of my life, but confirmed what I had been thinking for the past few years. I want to continue my education in nutrition. I understand the personal training side of things and have even rekindled my love for it. What I've always wanted to focus more on is nutrition. I've had clients that I've been able to help get back into good cardio shape and build muscle, but I know the missing link has been nutrition. I want to help people with that struggle. Shane has even seen great changes with his body by stepping it up nutritionally. He looks great! I look forward to us opening a DBAT and me helping not only the athletes, but the whole family.

What started as a goal to just get my butt on stage before I turn 30 is now turning into something that can truly change my life. I can NOT wait to see what the future holds! Do what you love and love what you do. It's that simple. :)

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Mustard is my friend

Today was a good day. I'm a little shocked by being able to type that statement. Why? Because it was day one of my carb deplete days. I didn't have my usual morning oatmeal...or my delish lunch sweet potato. Instead it was egg whites for breakfast (I throw 2 ounces of chicken in), chicken and veggies for lunch (insert mustard here) with some almonds, protein snack, protein/karbolyn post workout, fish with salad for dinner, and then my egg whites to cap off the night.

What made almost all of the above easier to swallow was my addition of a tablespoon or two of mustard. I had gotten some ground chicken from Central Market the other day. I decided to make chicken "burgers" for lunch. I added fresh garlic, garlic powder, smoked paprika, pepper, low sodium worcestershire sauce, and chopped bell pepper (part of my green peppers). Then, I molded them into perfect little patties and grilled them up on the Foreman. Since bread hasn't been on my diet in months, I used some crisp romaine leaves...and of course, topped with mustard! They were surprisingly yummy and quenched my taste for something savory and juicy.

Tonight's dinner was especially yummy with the added olive oil to my usual basalmic-only dressing. Mustard popped up again with my egg whites before bed. I added just a squirt of ketchup* and when I closed my eyes and visualized anything other than egg whites, the thought of a corn dog came to mind. I guess because I love mustard with just a hint of ketchup when I eat one. I told Shane this and he laughed saying, "hey babe, whatever gets the job done." He knows how some nights I've literally been choking them down.

Hopefully mustard will stay in my diet up until the last few days. I don't have many other options, plus I've read that it can help with burning fat! Tomorrow marks day "Sweet 16" and I'll be doing an impromptu posing sesh with Roland Jell at Gold's. I met him a few weeks back when I found out that he was emceeing for Europa. Good person to know! I may have some pics to post up. Gotta get comfortable walking around in that suit! Until tomorrow, goodnight everyone!

*Heinz makes a great ketchup called "Simply Heinz". It doesn't have any high fructose corn syrup and I think tastes just a little better than the others.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Hello Mr. Foreman

Dear Foreman Grill,

I know it has been awhile since we last spoke. As I remember, you were non-stick, but tonight you seemed to want to keep half of my yummy fish dinner. I love you, but I think I'm going back to your cousin outside.


I busted out the Foreman tonight because our propane is out. Normally, I like to grill several meals at a time, it saves time and makes it easy to grab. I grilled up some chicken earlier this afternoon, but wanted my fish fresh. I can season things, just need to watch my salt. Tonight was tequila lime with a little bit of lemon pepper. Yummy! Despite it sticking, it was still delish.

As I type this, my eyes are heavy and I'm ready for bed. My mind is a little blank...and based on the above letter, I may or may not be delirious. I'm a little sad I won't get my oatmeal tomorrow morning because of my carb cycle, but I am looking forward to my almonds come lunchtime! :)

Time to eat my eggs and get some rest. Legs tomorrow!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

No More Cheats

I got my revised meal plan tonight from Jeff. Not bad, doing another carb cycle again. Last time, it produced some amazing results combined with my increased cardio, so I'm looking forward to it.

At the bottom of the plan, where it normally says what "cheats" I'm allowed, it just said, "NO MORE CHEATS". Boo. I knew this day was looming. It's better that way anyway, it's not like my cheats were really cheats. I was allowed 1 cheat meal on the weekend when we first started. It could be anything I wanted. Anything. Then, it got cut back to 1 clean cheat meal on the weekend. A clean cheat meal consisted of fish or chicken made my someone else along with steamed or grilled veggies made by someone else. I could also have sugarfree/no sugar added froyo...which I savored.

Zoe and I went to Target tonight to pick up a few things for the week. I knew I needed to go tonight before I was too deep into my week. I know I need to stay focused and even told Shane tonight that he would probably need to be the grocery shopper for the next 18 days. It's not so much that I don't trust myself, it's more that I just don't want to see or think about the bad stuff. I do, however, have a running list of things I must have in my goodie bag for post-show pigout. Oreos, anything made by Little Debbie, BREAD...the list has the possibility of becoming endless.

I did receive a tip at this week's posing class: bring a bag of digestive enzymes, Tums/Rolaids, and anything else that might help my tummy from feeling like a bomb went off in it when I do decide to eat "unclean". Right now, I'm debating between a burger, fries, and milkshake from Twisted Root; a feast of salad, endless amount of breadsticks, and pasta from Olive Garden or Maggiano's; or a complete mexican fiesta from MiCo or Uncle Julio's. Maybe I'll hit up all of the above...just which one is first... ;)

Since it is now down to the nitty gritty, I'll warn you in advance that the tone of my blogs might change. You may notice a bit of grumpiness and this is to be expected. I'm starting to get hungry and have been tired for weeks...but this too shall pass! I have been able to handle much more than this, so I know I can do it. Gotta keep that end goal in mind!!!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

I'm just a poser.

Today was Saturday, which means only one thing....posing class with Jeff!

When I think back to that first posing class, I remember feeling super nervous and super intimidated. The girls were all so fit and made it look so easy. Thankfully, I had scheduled a one-on-one session with Jeff earlier in the week so I could get a feel for what I would be doing. I wouldn't think I'd need to be taught how to walk, stand, and smile...but I did. I had to learn how to exaggerate my hips without looking akward and make it, as Jeff said, "look like you have booty coming from every direction". Sounds funny doesn't it? But, I guess there isn't anything much girlier that a perky, round booty.

Two of my four workouts revolve around my butt. You know how I said that a cute outfit makes all the difference? Well, on booty days, that's especially true! If you were to be a fly on the wall next to me at the gym, you'd laugh as you watched me try to nonchalantly catch glances of my backside. Hey, if I'm going to spend hours working on it, I want to make sure I'm seeing my hard work pay off!! Lunges, squats, jump squats, jump lunges, smith machine squats, smith machine lunges, leg press, and repeat. On any given leg days, I'll do about 500 reps of leg/butt exercises. Most of which are with weight anywhere from 10lb dumbbells for my plyos (anything jumping) to 85lbs for smith machine squats and 130lbs (+ or -) for leg press.

Now that I have my suit, I have that much more of a reminder that my booty is going to be on display for all to see in 3 WEEKS! Eek! On that note, I need to eat my egg whites, swallow down some glutamine, and hit the sheets.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

Europa Dallas is exactly 21 days away. Three weeks. The sound of that is crazy. I still remember the feeling I had when I told Shane I wanted to compete. Saying those words out loud was scary. Now, here I am, getting ready to put on a teeny bikini, clear heels, and full-on glam to strut my stuff on a stage in front of hundreds... I had to remind myself to breathe there.

I'm ready. I've been saying daily affirmations and envisioning myself rockin' it on stage. Hitting my poses perfectly and of course hearing my name called in the first call-out. Top five. I WILL be in the top 5.

I am a visual person, so I've started making little notes to post everywhere. "Top 5", "3 weeks", "make every day count". Just little reminders when my mind tries to take-over and bring me down. I feel like I could eat my weight in sweet potatoes right now. Some days are easy and others (like today) all I can think about is food.

To distract myself, I'm going to get some retail therapy in and just keep drinking my water. Lots and lots of water. Maybe I'll even make my low-cal sugarfree Passion Tea Lemonade. Passion Tea mixed with Crystal Light lemonade. Mmm...yes, I will make some of that.

Tomorrow is posing class and since my suit is here, I'll really get a good feel for what it will be like. Pictures to come soon! Thank you to everyone for your continued support, it has really helped keep me motivated!!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Oh the power of a cute outfit!

Today was one of my fave workout days. I did an upper body circuit that consisted of chest, back, shoulders, biceps, and triceps. I hit everything and I hit it heavy. It was a successful day.

One of the things I always look forward to is picking out my gym outfit. I know it sounds a little silly and a bit like one of "those" girls...but I really do love my workout gear. Granted, 90% of it is lululemon, but even if it wasn't, I would still look forward to picking it out. On arm days, I like to wear shorts. I'm not jumping around doing plyos, so I feel like there's less chance of unflattering jiggle. I typically wear leggings/tights on leg days. Mostly because I like the extra support they provide for my muscles.

Like I said earlier, most all of my gym stuff is lululemon. I mix and match it up, some days going super bright with a coral tank and purple leggings; other days it's all tones of grays and black. Of course, my shoes also coordinate. Ha!

Why such consideration when I pick out my outfit? What difference does it make? I'm there to work hard and I'm just going to what's the point? Well, I don't wear make-up and my hair is always in a pony with a headband. So, for me, when I look in the mirror, I want to feel cute. I want to feel confident. Plus, if I'm that excited about picking out my clothes, I'm much more likely to drag my butt to the gym even when I'm not feeling it. Ever hear that you can "trick" yourself into feeling however you want? I believe that is true. If I can put something on, anything, and say, "wow, that's cute" or "I love this color", I'm going to hold my head a little higher.

Today was no exception. I loved my neon yellow/greenish tank and coordinating plaid run shorts. I felt good and I think that translated into my workout. As the day of my show gets closer, I'm looking for every edge I can get...even if that just means a cute sports bra or tank top!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Shout out to my Homies

Tonight's workout was great! If you happen to be friends with me on Facebook, you may have noticed my post about a girl at the gym that had given me dirty looks. I had simply asked if she and her friend were going to be using the one set of weights for awhile or not. She rolled her eyes and said, "uh, yeah." I just smiled and said, "no problem, just wanted to check." Then I proceeded to grab the next heavier set...not what I wanted, but hey, if they're going to be the reason to lift heavier today, so be it! However, I couldn't help but notice glares from the two girls through the rest of my workout. What?! Oh well, hate on me all you want, but I've worked hard to get here and am proud of how I look!
It made me realize how lucky I am to have a big support system. Without that support, I wouldn't be where I am today. So, thank you to Shane and everyone else who have lifted me up and been supportive of me along my journey thus far. It means more than you know. Don't worry, those girls didn't get to me, and I know that there will be many more in the future. Haters are my motivators!!

Monday, July 18, 2011

Egg Whites, Egg Whites, and more Egg Whites...

I officially have 25 days to go until the BIG day. Europa. I have my countdown up on the fridge with my bikini fabric swatch next to it. The fridge isn't the demon that it once was. Before it was where I would find myself if I was bored. Now, it's where I keep my "fuel" and my goals.

I've been going through phases of loving my diet and loathing my diet. Loving it when I see results and feel great with lots of energy. Loathing it when it's someone's birthday and that mean cake taunts me. You know that commercial where the woman is at the supermarket and telling off the cake with the bear sheriff? That's me at a birthday party, baby shower, etc. Both times I've given in. Why? Because I know I can have just a taste...and also, at the time, wasn't 3 weeks from competition. Ha!

This morning while I was trying to choke down my 4 egg whites, I decided to find a way to enjoy them. Before deciding to compete, I would read other girls' blogs about their diet and how boring it was or how sick they were of the food. Well, the only thing I wouldn't care if I ever ate again is egg whites. I have 4 with breakfast and 3 or 4 before bed. Everyday. I'm a little tired of them and so is my mouth. At least at night, I have them hard-boiled with a little bit of mustard added. If I close my eyes, I can convince myself that it's deviled eggs. Breakfast, however, is totally different.

I remembered reading about "protein pancakes" in my Oxygen mag and decided to research to see what exactly was in them. Guess what? Almost exactly what I'm supposed to eat for breakfast! So, my happy little butt went to Central Market today and got some sugar-free maple syrup (which is surprisingly good, even Shane liked it!) and will be experimenting with my own version of protein pancakes in the morning. Fingers crossed that they are as good as I'm picturing them to be. Heck, anything will be better than what I'm trying to eat right now!

Now, I need to go eat my fish and salad. That I actually look forward to! :)

Saturday, July 16, 2011

where did Saturday go?

I should be asleep right now, but got wrapped up in "studying". YouTube has become such a great resource for me for finding video of my favorite bikini competitors. Posing class today could not have gone better. Jeff said I have made some great progress and I was feeling pretty comfortable with the posing. Only kinda lost my balance once...much better than previous weeks. Those turns can be tricky! ;)

I told Jeff about my peanut butter dream, he laughed. The good news though, is that I'll be getting some calories added back into my diet so I don't continue to drop weight as quickly. On Friday, I weighed in at 122.2. With 4 weeks still to go, I don't want to get too low and risk losing muscle and looking *gasp* skinny! I just have to laugh, the way Jeff said, "you look good, weight is down, but you're not skinny". At first, my inner chubby girl wanted to scream, "no! I want to be skinny!", but then I saw Jeff's face. It was then that I had to remember that I was in a space where "skinny" isn't a compliment. If you want to be respected, you need muscles and be lean...but not skinny. I think I like this place.

After class, I met up with my friend Jessica. She asked me if what I'm doing and how I look is something I want to maintain. I totally an extent. Probably where I am right now, or even where I was last week, is manageable. I treated myself to a little bit of Chick-Fil-A today and it didn't taste as good as I expected it to. However, the no sugar added vanilla/strawberry swirl froyo DID. Mmmm...froyo... I know that the froyo treat won't last much longer.

Thankfully, my abs are starting to come in, I can't wait to see what the final result will be. My stomach has always been my trouble spot, but I'm seeing results. I don't know that my body has ever looked or felt this good. Strong is the new skinny!! Lift heavy and eat clean my friends.

Friday, July 15, 2011

The princess and the "pea"nut butter

28 days and counting!
I know that my diet is getting more and more strict, but my dream last night still makes me laugh. It was very vivid, I had just posed for Jeff and was meeting him in his office to discuss the upcoming weeks. He told me that I needed to start eating a lot of peanut butter because I really needed to start putting on muscle.
When I woke up in the morning, I smiled and thought, "man, I wish that had been real". It was my first food dream, first of many, I'm sure! It's not like all I can think about is food, I actually do enjoy what I get to eat. Plus, I really like the way it makes me feel...and look! Tonight's dinner was yummy blackened grilled tilapia on top of a salad. It was delish. :)
The only things I do miss are the occasional cheeseburger and of course, cupcakes. However, I don't think I'll go back to eating the "bad stuff" as often as I once did. It seems that once you let yourself slip back, it's a very slippery slope that often leads to lots of indulging rather than the occasional treat.
I weighed in this morning and was surprised to see I had lost another couple pounds. I'm not sure how low my weight will go, I just know I need to get down to about 12% bodyfat. I know that sounds crazy, but it's just for a short period of time. We'll see what happens in the next few weeks!
Hopefully tonight's dreams won't be filled with cupcakes, burgers, or peanut butter...

Thursday, July 14, 2011

I need a 26 hour day...

I got home from the gym at 10:15pm. Yup, that's right. I'm at an hour of cardio 6 days/week plus my 4 lift days. Tonight all I had time to squeeze in was cardio. That means upper body tomorrow, yay! :)

Before I hit up the elliptical, I headed to the yoga room to practice my posing. My 5" lucite heels have a new home in my gym bag so I can practice anytime, anywhere! I'm feeling more and more confident strutting my stuff as I see my body transform. It's all in the hips! I keep Jeff's words in my head..."you gotta make it look like you have booty from all directions, it's all about the booty". It's funny to me that so many women work to make their butt smaller and here I am busting mine to make it grow! I have J-Lo envy at the moment. Brook tanned me up earlier today, so my legs looked awesome! Thanks Brook!!!

I had planned on walking Arbor Hills with Zoe earlier today, but when I saw that the temperature was 101, I changed my mind. So, ipod in hand, I trekked it up to the gym. Thankfully, the elliptical has not only a TV on it, but sits in front of 4 big screens. I tend to get bored on the elliptical to I did half there then hopped over to the spin bike. The slightly insane Brian Wilson managed to keep me distracted with his ESPY penguin get-up...that man is an odd duck.

So, now, it's egg-white time washed down with some glutamine and then off to dreamland! Sleep well my friends, tomorrow is another day to achieve your dreams!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

30 days and counting...

See those pictures? The first one is from a few days ago (black top), the second was back in April (teal top).

The countdown to my first NPC show has started. I'm now 30 days out from the Europa Supershow Dallas where I'll be competing in the bikini division.

I've been working with Jeff Dwelle of Dwelle Athletics and am a "Bikini Rockstar". Jeff is awesome, he knows his stuff and has been tweaking my program for few months. It's getting closer and more intense as I continue to try and drop body fat. Gotta love tilapia! ;)

My goal is to not just walk on that stage, but own it and hear my name in the first call-out...putting me in the top 5!! I've wanted to do a show for over 5 years and have just now set my mind to do it. Why not? I'm practically a stay-at-home mom with a 1 year old and turn 30 this year. Yikes!

I ordered my bikini from, Ellen was awesome and answered alllll of my millions of questions. Hey, the bikini was expensive for how teeny it is, I wanted to make sure I got it right! Jessie Hamilton will be doing my make-up and I'll be getting my hair done at Salon 2222...extensions and all! I must say, I'm pretty excited to have long flowing locks!

So now, all that's left to keep working my booty off and pose pose pose! I'll be keeping you all posted on my progress over the next month, wish me luck!

Want to come support me? Please?! Check out for info on the Dallas Europa Supershow. August 12th is prelims, 13th is finals. Hope to see you there!